


Millennium

by ForNought



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Bad Communication, Bad Flirting, First Kiss, M/M, New Years Eve, bad everything really, death mention, levi's like 18 and erwin is 23, they're young, vague 90's references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 19:51:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6485317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForNought/pseuds/ForNought
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi finds himself at a once in a lifetime New Year's Eve party. His social worker doesn't particularly think he's trying hard enough to socialise now that he is out of the home and the half-way house so he is invited to a party to say goodbye to 1999 and hello to the possible end of the world with Y2K. </p><p>But that's where he meets a boy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Millennium

Levi wasn't surprised by the hand that landed a little bit too close to his arm before the man from the other side of the room was crouching next to where he sat on the most hideous armchair in the room. He wasn't surprised because he was erring more on the side of being hyper-aware of the man and that was probably worse than not noticing him at all.

He had been actively avoiding coming too close to the man when he slipped out of the room to top up his drink because he had definitely been caught looking multiple times and he really hadn't wanted to actually interact with him. Accidentally staring at the impressive stature of the man, how hard and straight his features were, how well put together he seemed, was probably due to the alcohol. Levi was legal now, though like most people his age he had drunk alcohol too many times before. It was probably the atmosphere that had done it. The White Lightning was already rotting his insides but in the past his problems amounted to rolling out of bed with a splitting headache and a tender stomach but that was all. This time he just could not help himself and he definitely did not want to have to interact with that man.

"Do I have something on my face?"

Levi glanced at him before staring back at the glass in his hands, wrinkling his nose at the dishwasher marks that clouded the glass. He replied, "No."

"Do I get another guess?"

"What?"

"Was it because you were thinking how silly I would look at midnight if I had nobody to kiss?"

Levi looked away entirely, impressed at how he didn't instantly flush at the mental image of the man kissing somebody. Kissing him. He swallowed down his embarrassment and said, "No."

"It would have been okay if that was what you were thinking, you know. I was sort of thinking that about you."

"Thanks. There's nothing I love more than being told I look stupid." It was a good time to leave. Levi didn't even know anybody here anyway. He had only come because his social worker said her friend's son was going to a New Year's party and he should make friends. He didn't need to try to make friends if he was going to get ditched and end up surrounded by strangers who eyed him warily.

"Not stupid. I said silly. And I'm here to save you from looking silly when the clock strikes twelve."

"What, by telling me to leave? I was planning on doing that anyway."

"Actually no. I was thinking we should save ourselves the trouble of looking silly and agree to kiss each other at midnight."

Levi's initial response was to say no. He wanted to leave and go home to his dingy flat and try to scrub the damp from his walls. He wanted to pretend he wouldn't be hungry after eating half a tin of uncooked beans for his tea. He wanted to run himself a bath that was tepid at best and room-temperature at worst before collapsing into his bed and waking up in the new millennium as though it was just another day. But the man was looking at him, and he looked like he might actually want Levi to say yes. He looked like he wanted the yes too much for the Dutch courage to mask it and Levi sort of did want to say yes.

Levi had already spent the evening imagining what the man would look like close up and now he was right there, disgustingly handsome and looking for all the world as though he wanted Levi to be here.

But this was the part where Levi's palms got too sweaty for him to be able to hold his glass much longer. He clamped it between his thighs and wiped his hands on his jeans. He kept his eyes on an uneven tuft of carpet as he said, "Are you gay or something?"

"Sometimes."

Levi rolled his eyes and sighed. He didn't know whether there was too much he could say or not enough he could give away.

"Though I do feel myself saying yes to questions like that more and more frequently."

"Fantastic."

"Why are you saying it like that? Would it be a problem for you if I was?" He asked, raising his bushy eyebrows in a way that made Levi feel like the idiot even though he wasn't the one with the ridiculous eyebrows.

"No, no. Sorry. It's not a problem. I'm gay too. I just. I'll see you at midnight I suppose," Levi mumbled. He needed to get another drink. He hadn't finished this one but he wanted something that would get him very drunk without him risking a hospital visit. It might have been too much of an ask considering what everybody else was drinking, but as he started to rise to venture into the kitchen the man's hand wrapped around Levi's wrist.

"We don't want a bad start to the year though, do we? We should probably practice."

Levi sank back down in the chair and frowned. He didn't quite know what to do when somebody wanted to kiss him. It hadn't mattered a lifetime ago when he was maybe fifteen and stupid enough to think he knew everything. These days he was very aware of himself and his shortcomings but somebody wanted to kiss him. Somebody might have wanted to kiss him right that instant.

This wasn't a promise to reunite at midnight where he would slip away before he could fulfil it. This wasn't something where he could burn the image of somebody to his eyelids and recall the lines of the face and body when he got home and was laden down with tiredness and frustration.

"We're strangers."

"We are. But that didn't seem to matter when you agreed we could stop each other from looking silly at midnight." Levi said nothing. "I'm Erwin."

"Levi."

"Nice name."

Those words stung a little bit. It was as though Erwin already knew too much about him. It sounded a little bit spiteful but it could have been paranoia on Levi's part. He was never too sure about these things. 

"Now that we're not strangers do you want to try practicing now?"

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt. It's only a kiss. It's not-"

"It's not something you have to strain yourself over. Don't force yourself," Erwin said softly.

"You said you didn't want to look silly."

"I don't mind looking silly if it's with you, Levi."

His name sounded nice in Erwin's mouth. A part of Levi wanted to know what other ways he would be able to hear it. He wanted to hear his name in every tone and expression just so he could find out his favourite. Though the other repetitions of his name might not have had the effect of flushing him with warmth from the follicles of his scalp all the way down to the tips of his toes. But why should he like the sound of his name from Erwin's mouth? Why should he feel as though he would have any right to hear it again after deciding he was perhaps a bit too scared to pay the price of a kiss, get it refunded, find out what else Erwin's mouth could do to make him feel that odd fragment of joy that didn't seem to fit.

"Maybe if you don't want to kiss, would you submit to a holy palmers' kiss?"

Levi blinked. No, he definitely had no idea what that was. It might have been a euphemism local to this borough. He hoped it wasn't something disgusting. There was no point in pretending to know what that was either because his face was blank as Erwin's fingers traced lines over the back of Levi's hand. He eventually said, "What's that."

Pink blunder bloomed high in Erwin's cheeks and it went nicely with the merry red that tinted his strong features.

"It was sort of a Romeo and Juliet reference. Sorry. It might have been a bit vague but-"

"I don't know much about Romeo and Juliet but don't they both die in the end? Are you telling me to die?"

Erwin drew his hand back and flushed an even deeper red. "No, that's not what I meant. It was just... I wanted to ask you to hold my hand without sounding stupid."

"I'm not really into pacts like that. Especially if this was going to be a murder-suicide deal, because if it was that I'm glad I didn't kiss you."

"Really, that's not what I meant at all. I just wanted." Erwin groaned and rubbed at the back of his neck as he spoke. "I'm trying to come across as at least a bit romantic. I'm trying not to come across as some kind of nutter. This is me taking a chance because you looked like you might be interested in me and I know it's stupid. I'm stupid and this seemed like a Colin Firth kind of thing."

"A Colin Firth thing?" Erwin looked dejected as he knelt next to the chair and Levi somehow felt bad for that.  Levi continued, "Is that another romantic way of telling me to die because if you want me to leave you shouldn't say it in such a round-about way."

"I'm not saying that. Don't leave."

"Alright then. What if I don't leave? Will you get any less weird?"

Erwin shrugged. Only moments before he had mentioned people thinking he was weird and Levi wondered if it accidentally came out because he was a tipsy. It might have been something he was self-conscious about and that was another thing that Levi felt guilty about. He heaved himself out of the armchair and stood next to Erwin. He took a fortifying breath. He tapped Erwin twice on the shoulder and trained his eyes on the crowds of people at the banks of the Thames on the television set in the corner of the room. He held his hand out in a way that should have been indicative of Erwin's next move.

"Where are you going?"

"We," Levi corrected in a low voice. "We have another couple of hours to kill before decide whether we are going to look silly together or I am going to sign my life away to someone who couldn't proposition his way out of a paper bag."

"Seriously?"

Levi didn't look at him. He just kept watching the crowds as they made memories in the frigid cold so they could say they were in the best place to celebrate the coming new year. He was serious though. Erwin was funny in a way that he obviously didn't mean to be and, unlike his social worker's friend's son, he was talking to Levi.

He nodded. Then stumbled because Erwin was using his hand to pull himself up. He must have realised long before then that he was much larger than Levi so this could just have been him trying to be funny in a way that really wasn't. But Levi laughed anyway because he had almost been yanked down to the ground but he was still standing and he must have been a foot shorter than Erwin and Erwin was grinning down at him like they were co-conspirators and Levi didn't quite get it but Erwin was gripping his hand so tightly and he had heard so many theories whizzing around about how the world could end that night so why the hell not.

 

The chorused countdown to midnight was more of an uncoordinated rabble than anything but at least everybody was trying. Levi couldn't quite feel his fingers though just beneath the numbness his hands felt sweaty. He felt trapped on the stairs and maybe they should have chosen somewhere else to sit, somewhere that with more room and air that wasn't stiff with anticipation. Erwin was leaning up to him, kneeling on the step below Levi and leaning just out of the way as a girl thundered down the stairs to join her friends to bring in the new year. Erwin was counting down too, his voice swallowed up by the sounds of everybody else's cheers and Levi couldn't breathe.

He needed some more time to think about this. But the numbers were getting louder as they were chanted and then from the living room, the hallway, the kitchen, the landing was a screamed "ONE!"

The kiss was gentle and chaste and everything Levi didn't want it to be. It felt comfortable and right and it was a stupid New Year's tradition but it was perfect as far as midnight kisses went. And then Erwin was smiling beatifically at him and the spell was broken.

Levi didn't immediately jump up and run home. He waited. He tried to smile back at Erwin but he ached too much to manage it. He asked to meet Erwin's friends as the drunken first lines of Auld Lang Syne rang out. In the confusion of trying to join the coiling circle and linking hands with those whose arms were already folded over their chests, Levi slipped away.

He shoved his way past two giggling women kissing by the front door and he ran. It was alright on a night like tonight but he couldn't get drawn into that. Levi had to resurface on the real world eventually and it was not as though he hadn't enjoyed what time he had spent pretending that he wasn't scared to talk to somebody and hold their hand. But that was maybe the worst part, he realised when he had to wait for a car to speed past a crossing. He had pretended too well and he had told Erwin things about himself. Intermingled with the slurry of shit jokes were actual truths about himself that he should never have given away.

And he knew things about Erwin too.

By the time he got home, repeatedly kicking the front door shut because it had been raining that afternoon and the frame had swollen again, he was trying his hardest to forget. He tried to forget that Erwin's favourite band was B*Witched but his favourite song was Cleopatra's Theme by Cleopatra. He tried to forget that Erwin played rugby league as a lock, though Levi had no idea what that meant. He tried to forget that Erwin's dad had been a teacher and he was going to follow the same profession before changing his mind at the last minute. He tried to forget that Erwin said that his favourite food was spaghetti bolognaise and that he could just live off the stuff, that he was really good at cooking it now, that he said he would make some for Levi one day because he had to try it.

Levi was trying his hardest but the memories wouldn't come unstuck.

He was curled up in the middle of his bed trying to dislodge the limpet-memories but more of them anchored themselves to the inside of his skull, unapologetic and immovable. The touch of blunt, calloused fingers tracing the lines of his palms. The hammering of Erwin's heart as he pressed Levi's hand to his chest. The pins and needles scratch of stubble as Erwin moved Levi's hand to cup the angle of his jaw. The steady gaze that showed just the right amount of interest to have Levi fooled into thinking this was real. The deepening blush as he sang off-key to a few songs piping through the stereo. The rumbling hum that preceded the words that gave Levi the hope that the night could last as long as he wanted it to.

 

 

Levi could pretend the New Year never happened. The bank holidays and festivities were over and he was back to his usual shifts at the chip shop. He didn't even need to pretend because nothing could possibly have happened in the first place. His life was exactly as it had been before and he wasn't fooling himself into thinking there was the potential for even the basest of companionship.

But then there were a group of young men that came in, raucous and rowdy and too large in both size and number for the shop to feel very comfortable. Levi noticed him right away, laughing off the pats on the back and instantly Levi found himself wondering what could have brought Erwin and his friends to this chip shop on a Wednesday afternoon.

But he couldn't ask such a stupid question. He couldn't even say hello. He didn't want to have to see him again after running away when it frightened him so much. He hadn't been spotted, so the evasion could be simple. He was on his way to the back when his boss collared him.

"Levi, where are you going?"

"To get the batter."

Levi's boss clearly didn't believe him. He gestured to the rabble on the other side of the counter and said, "We have fried plenty of things for now.  We have lots of customers."

"But what if they want-"

"I can already tell that won't be a problem. They look like boys who came here for chips. One will want a kebab, two will want mini fish and another will want sausage. We have more than enough, alright?"

It was hard to make up another excuse in the face of such expert chip shop clairvoyance, and it was rare that his boss was wrong about these things. So Levi nodded and trudged to the counter to ask what the first of these men would want. And Erwin was staring right at him in disbelief. It got harder to wrap up the bags of chips when he was aware of being watched so closely.

"What can I get you?" Levi asked flatly when it was Erwin's turn.

"I didn't imagine Friday, did I?"

"Pardon?"

"It's just that I'm still trying to work out what I did wrong."

"If you're not going to order anything could you move aside for one of the customers who will?"

"Levi, could you just-"

"Hey, are you going to get something?" One of Erwin's friends asked, placing a heavy hand on Erwin's shoulder and frowning as he looked between Erwin and Levi. He was around the same height but not quite as broad at Erwin. He bore a passing familiarity and Levi suspected he might have been at the party. "Oh, hello."

"Hello," Levi managed awkwardly. Then, because there was no point trying to be discreet, he said, "You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry."

"Sorry as in you're apologising or sorry as in you don't want to see me again?"

"I'm at work."

"I'll have kebab meat and chips."

Levi nodded and went to grab a tray off the tower of polystyrene. He scooped more chips than he usually would have into the tray before adding ribbons of donner to the other side of the tray.

"Salad?"

"No thank you," Erwin replied.

"Sauce?"

"Chilli, mint, mayo."

By the time Levi and Erwin were exchanging the food and the money, Erwin was frowning and Levi was certain this was a different Erwin. This was not the Erwin who was laughing and smoothing over blunders with ease as he talk and talked. It was most definitely Levi's fault though.

"Here's your change."

"Thanks. I'll come and see you again soon," Erwin said.

The stoicism wasn't helping. Levi nodded and tried to smile because Erwin just maybe had an actual desire to see him. It was a new year and the world hadn't ended at midnight but Levi was beginning to suspect that he had had a relatively good start to the year.

His flat was still shit and some days the windows were coated in a film of black filth from the factory chimney five minutes away. His electricity meter ate up every penny he didn't use for rent and most days he scavved around the chip shop for stale leftovers but Erwin came to see him the next day, and the next day and maybe a month later he had someone who would sometimes eat bags of cold chips with him while the Coronation Street omnibus was on.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this like a million years ago for something that I doubt I will ever finish but I am narcissistic and I like it so I wouldn't mind other people reading it too.


End file.
